list poems

red lights aren't bad unless they last incredibly too long
stop and go traffic
people thinking they are smart speeding by on the shoulder
pisses people off, not letting you over, dumb ass
thought they found a way ahead but they just got stuck
feeling stuck in your own mind
try to fight its grasp but you cant break free
quicksand
i hear its dangerous
suffocation, no breathing
anxious, nervous, i really need a cig.
cigs, the smell stays with you even after you dont notice it anymore

places; war mamorial stadium

silence on a cold quiet morning, nothing but the sound of the wind blowing by us as we started to march onto the field. atleast, we couldn't hear anything else outside of our moment. the drum major's whistle blew and the drums taped out the cadence. we stopped, snapped to attention. my adrinaline was pumpping and my heart racing, these were the moments i lived for. the whistle blew once more like a fire shot and we began, gliding across that field with viscosity, like a smooth cream soda. the colors of my flag danced around me as if in slow motion as i became lost inside the music. everything outside the white line surrounding that field faded out as if it no longer existed. these were our glory days.

home again

You looked at me today...
...in that way you used to look at me...
...in that way you haven't looked at me in almost two years...
...in that way that is undeniabley honest, and speaks to my soul...
...in that way that says you couldn't love me more than at that moment...
...in that way that makes all my doubts and fears melt away...
...and for once in two years, i felt at home again.

words from a picture

when i was about seven my great-grandmother passed away. she was known as nanna. it was the first time i lost someone that i loved, it was the first time i had seen death. unless you count my hampster that died, but i didnt even know he had died until i got home from school and he wasn't in his cage anymore because mom had alrady removed him. my nanna was a very special person and its actually kind of hard to talk about. i used to stay the night with her almost every wekkend, we would sing songs together and read books, and go for walks down ther street until we came to the house with the red reflectors in the driveway before we would turn around and head back to her house. about a year before she passed away i remember the last halloween of trick-or-treating at her house. i was toto and my cousin was dorathy from the wizard of oz. nanna had what seemed to be the biggest snickers bars we had ever seen, for us. i remember not wanting to leave her house but there was more trick-or-treating to do. the next thing i remember she never drove her car anymore and shortly after she had to go to the hospital because she was very sick. my mom, and my two aunts would take turns going to stay the night with her, whenever it was my moms turn i always went too and nanna would let me eat her chocolate golden grams. for a while she was back and forth between the nursing home and the hospital, when she was in the nursing home she liked to play bingo and when she won stuff she would give it to me and my brother, i dont know if she gave anything to my cousins but i'd like to think that i was her favorite. i'll always keep that little teddy bear, forever because its the last thing she ever gave me before she was gone.

litt. mag. review. #1 & 2

i am so utterly irritated,, why is it just when i think things are going well i find out i was missing something it everything suddenly goes back to shit! i had no idea we were already posing assignments to be graded on here until today in class and i over heard someone mention it...so i go online to do the assignment and stumble accross a link that says assignment schedule, and i was like, i bearly found out about this assignment i better look in hear to see if anything else is comming up and WHAT DO I COME TO FIND!!!??? that i have already missed two other assignments that were due at the first of this fucking month! and sure better late than never, but even if i do them now ill get the same grade i would if i just dont worry about it...i'm fucking cursed thats all there is too it! i'm fordoomed to failure, and if i dont make B's in all my classes this semester i might as well give up and drop out of college and become some waste of a lifeform sweeping the floores at freds or shelling out hot fries to the asshole customers of mcdonals who dont understand what its like to be on the other side.